aka The Frazzled Mom
Everyone has their own coping mechanisms when it comes to crisis.
I know some that pace. That’s it. They develop an overwhelming anxiety that prevents them from focusing on the situation at hand. It can be quite debilitating, from what I’ve witnessed. And it is certainly no laughing matter. As much as they probably would like to help or even solve the problem, they find they can’t do anything. And so they pace nervously.
Or, others may find random things to do, rather than dealing with the problem. They may realize that the corner of the house that has a scruff mark present for three years suddenly needs to be painted. Now!! The task, the problem, is so daunting to them, they cannot stand to think about it, so they offer little distractions to ease their minds into the problem….eventually….down the road. It may take a while, but in a crisis, we don’t have “a while”.
So, how do I handle a crisis? Following my initial reaction (surprise, horror, etc), I leap into action. I assess the situation and try my best to come up with a plan of attack. I’ve learned over the years that when I do come up with a plan, it is best to dwell on it for a bit before jumping head first. I’ve done that in the past and have, at times, gotten burned in the process.
You know the old saying, “No good deed goes unpunished?”
Yeah, keep that in mind. Because it can be true and it has happened to me many times. It is frustrating when it does, because your heart and intentions were in the right place. Perhaps you even solved the problem. But they end up hating you for it because you were competent enough to solve it. Yeah…surprise! I’m a blonde female and I’m actually competent. *sigh*
So, here I find myself again. But this time, the problem or crisis is a good distance away from me. It is from a place I used to be, but am no longer. While I am very happy where I am at, I still have a soft spot for those in need, those hurting. Perhaps it is because I had been unhappy for so many years under a horrible manager, that I have more empathy for previous coworkers that are going through similar problems.
I need to learn to say no, not my problem. But I find I can’t. It doesn’t feel right within my heart to push people away.
I’ve offered advice through email, but that has been it so far. Now, I sit and wonder if I should take it one step further. I don’t trust the person that is causing the problem. I value the work ethic of the person that is unhappy and being taken advantage of. But is it my problem? I mean, I don’t work there, I have nothing invested. Or by not having anything invest, means I can easily stick my neck out with very little consequence? Doubt it.
As much as I’d like to jump in, solve the issue and come to the rescue, I know it is no longer my place. I will sit and wait. If they come to me, I have no problem sharing what is on my mind. If not? I will have to remain a sympathetic ear and nothing more.