aka The Frazzled Mom
Dearly beloved, we come together in celebration of life, not death. I stand before you today, not to grieve, but to laugh. To remember an extraordinary life. As a child, she always looked out for the little guy. I remember during one sunny day, she and three other boys, were playing an intense game of cops and robbers. Yes, she’s that old. On that particular day, there was a fight….well, more like a heated discussion, that broke out between two of her friends.
The argument was founded heavily in facts, both having equally valid points. However, the one side grew frustrated with the lack of action and pushed the boy to the ground.
Our heroine, no doubt vying for the next opening in the Justice League, grabbed the assailant. Kicking his legs out from under him, he sailed into the air and fell onto his back with a resounding “Ooph!” Triumphant though she was, it was still not enough. She had to ensure such bullying was never carried out again. Attacking him as a cat would a mouse, she pushed him further into the ground. With a mighty force, seemingly channeled from Superman himself, she began to repeatedly pound the boy’s head into the pavement. Fear not, my friends. She caused very little damage to a brain that was hardly there in the first place.
Needless to say, she was the victor. Though she could have easily become the bully through her strength and tenacity, she chose to use her powers only for good. Only too late in life, did she realize it was her snarkiness that she needed to harness for good. (ahem) Her compassion to help those in need would continue throughout her life. In a world of increasing selfishness, she stood out as a symbol of what we all should strive to be:
So remember the good times and not the bad. Seriously, she’s sorry for forgetting your birthday that one year, so cut her some slack. As a parting gift, and to make up for having forgotten your birthday, please be sure to visit the table in the back. Find the envelope with your name on it. In it, you will find a coupon, buy one, get one free whopper at Burger King.
Come blooming youths, as you pass by, and on these lines do cast an eye.
As you are now, so once was I; As I am now, so must you be;
Prepare for death and follow me.
To follow you I am not content, how do I know which way you went.