The Consulting Writer

aka The Frazzled Mom

So You Want to Be a Pirate (GSRG Blog Tour)

  Theme: Vacation/Travel

Saint Vincent Island is a frequented location in Second on the Right. The island holds a special place for Captain Robert Benedict. The Mistral Thief is often found anchored offshore while captain and crew make themselves at home in Kingstown.


Not much can be said on why Captain Benedict comes here, especially after raids and plundering…mainly due to fear of punishment, most likely death.

So You Want To Be A Pirate

If you find yourself thrown back in time to the Golden Age of Piracy, here’s how you can fit in…

1) Don’t appear timid. Shyness can be equated to weakness and pirates will take full advantage. Captain Benedict will be the first in line to use any weakness to his advantage.

2) Never trust a pirate, or anyone else for that matter. To do so means eventual death, followed by some pain and then more death. Then again, in the world of Second on the Right, pirates may be the only ones you can trust when encountering the one known as Pan.

3) Forget your toothbrush! The closest thing to brushing one’s teeth would be eating an apple, which explains why Captain Benedict eats them often. Of course, apples help in other ways for those at sea.

4) Don’t bathe for at least a week. Hygiene is difficult on board the Mistral Thief. No amount of salt water can remove the grim and stench of the Mistral Thief crew.

5) Learn Ta Talk Like A Pirate! Pirate dialect is found in Second on the Right when Captain Benedict speaks. Refer to this quick English to Pirate translation guide:

Stop – Belay
Stop! – Avast
Hello – Ahoy
You/Your – Ye
My – Me
Any words ending in “ing” – Replace g with ‘ (for example, Taking- Takin”)

6) Hide Your Treasure. James, aka Captain Hook, relied on a special map to lead him to the legendary island where he’d confront Pan. Captain Benedict had a mental map for his hideaway. As a pirate, you’ll be gathering treasure and hopefully more than you can carry at one time. In that case, you’ll need a proper hideaway for stashing your jewels, gold and other  prized possessions. Be sure to pick a cleverly hidden spot, but also don’t forget where that spot is. If need be, draw up a map to remind you. Of course, then you’ll have to hide the map in a safe place from prying eyes. You might need to draw up a map to help you remember and locate the map to your treasure. But should you forget about that map…

7) Consider replacing a body part. Captain Hook had, well, his hook. Movie and fictional pirates, at least the cool ones, often have a missing body part that has been replaced by something else. For example, a peg leg, a hook, a wooden eye. What would you rather having missing and what would you replace it with?

8) Adopt a Piratey Pet. Pirates need some companionship. Wenches stay on shore and the crew’s IQ doesn’t match your own. So what do you do? Adopt a pet, such as a parrot or monkey, an animal that is a good listener. I’d avoid felines. Cats and water don’t mix well.

9) Shout everything. MetalBeard of the Lego movie showed this to be true. To be a proper pirate, one must learn to shout. If you are to tell your back story, make sure to tell it with a fierceness that borders on loud shouting. Arrgh, t’would be what a pirate would do.

10) Tolerance. In Second on the Right, main characters will encounter stormy weather and trying circumstances. For Captain Benedict, one way to soothe his nerves was through Rum. Pirates should be able to tolerate rough weather conditions, cheap alcohol and treacherous mates.

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Genre Specific Review Group Blog Tour Stops:
July 6 – The Consulting Writer
Author Susan Day
Michelle Abbott’s Blog
Author George Thomas Clark
July 7 – Marilyn Peake’s Blog
Author Jo Grafford
July 8 – Plain Talk BM
Author Domino Finn
Author Stephanie Ward
July 9 – Author Melinda Brasher
July 10 – Author K. Chrisbacher
Author Tim Stead
July 11 – Author Jayne Blue
July 12 – The Consulting Writer
Author Alexis Donkin
Cheryl Colwell


10 comments on “So You Want to Be a Pirate (GSRG Blog Tour)

  1. Michelle Abbott
    July 6, 2014

    Visiting as part of the vacation blog hop. Beautiful beach, I’d love to be there right now. If I had to lose a body part, it couldn’t be an eye or a hand because as a writer I need those 🙂 So I’d opt for a leg.


    • Elizabeth
      July 7, 2014

      As a writer and musician, I think I might choose the same. It would be difficult with losing a hand or eye.


  2. Susan Day
    July 7, 2014

    Who wouldn’t want to be a pirate, me hearties!! What a great post! I have some pirates in my latest book and they are very familiar – a pack of thieving seadogs! It’s great fun learning to speak then write ‘pirate’. Sounds like you did a great job. Well done!


    • Elizabeth
      July 7, 2014

      Who doesn’t love pirates! I don’t care that they are unrealistically romanticized. They are still a lot of fun to write. I’ll have to check out your book.


  3. Marilyn Peake
    July 7, 2014

    Just wanted to stop by and read your post for the GSRG Blog Hop. Gorgeous photo and I love that your post is about pirates! 🙂 I’ve always enjoyed Talk Like a Pirate Day and I once visited the remains of Blackbeard’s Castle on St. Thomas.


  4. StephMWard
    July 7, 2014

    Such a fun post I tried (very briefly) to learn to sail. I couldn’t tie the right knot at the right time to save my life, but I did enjoy the pirate talk and love the translations you included. Thanks!


  5. elainecsc2013e
    July 7, 2014

    I love your blog hop entry. You made pirates sound like so much fun.


  6. Domino Finn
    July 7, 2014

    Wow, that water is beautiful! It’s totally worth the piratey danger.


  7. Still cracking up about “pain followed by more death.” Well played.I would like to replace my sagging middle with rolls of cash. Get it!! Arggh!


  8. Pingback: Where Did We Vacation? (a GSRG blog hop summary) | The Consulting Writer

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