aka The Frazzled Mom
The past few weeks, I’ve been struggling. Perhaps you’ll be able to relate, or know someone who is going through the same thing. I’ve been struggling with being a wife and mom. I’ve scrambled to remain focused on my job, only to start my “2nd shift” in the evenings where I maintain the house and take care of the kids. I’m exhausted!
My house is a wreck. There are dishes constantly in the sink, dust on shelves, dirty floors, old toothpaste in sinks. The list goes on and on. Outside, I have weeds in the flower beds. A couple weeds so big they have stalks the size of a small tree. Not kidding!
Every night, I have the intention to completely scrub down the kitchen or to mow the lawn. But every night, I end up not doing it. It has taken SO much energy out of me, emotionally and mentally, as I beat myself up for not doing the chores I’m supposed to be doing. My “to do” list grows ever longer.
But am I a failure? No! And if you are going through the same thing, don’t think that either.
Despite all that I’m not doing, there are some things I am doing. Like homework. Have you dealt with Common Core homework? If not, thank your lucky stars. It can be awful and confusing. It’s caused arguments between the grandparents! 🙂
And when I’m about to tackle the task of scrubbing the floor and my daughter asks me if I can sit with her and watch Star Trek The Original Series or go outside and play with her. 90% of the time I say “okay”.
I’ve realized that the one thing I recognize as most important: quality time. When my son says he thinks he’s spending too much time with me? I’d say that’s a good thing. Before I know it, my kids will be grown and won’t want to sit with me or play outside. They’ll be too busy with their own lives. I’ve heard from so many other mothers: cherish these opportunities.
Besides, who’s standards am I trying to live by? June Cleaver – the perfect housewife? Sarah Conner- the tough mom that’d do anything to keep her kid safe? I get upset with myself for failing to meet my own standards. So as much as it kills me to put down that scrub brush and 409 spray, I do it for them. In the end, I know that I won’t have regretted leaving dirty dishes in the sink. I will have regretting not taking the time to be with my family. And that would break my heart.