aka The Frazzled Mom
Personally, it’s been more than just the desire, it’s been a prayer in my mind, on my lips. What I hope for more than anything is for the protection of my children, that they will grow up to be amazing, compassionate children of God.
This mindset isn’t just for the Christian. Every parent should be mindful of the future of their children.
Proverbs 19:18 “Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.”
If I discipline them now, I won’t ruin their lives. Sound extreme?
When did it happen where we as parents allowed our kids to run the home? If they cried or whined, we’d say, “Fine, you don’t have to. But you’ll have to do it tomorrow.” Only to fall back on that, giving them another reprieve. Despite threats if there is bad behavior, there’d be no follow through.
Are we doing them any favors?
A mother was convinced that if her child didn’t want to share a toy with the other children, that was her kid’s right.
When did we allow little kids to dictate what was their “right”? They grow up in our care, protection and love. And as they grow, we as parents need to recognize and encourage independence. I think some parents miss the point of what is considered a “right”. If it’s the child’s right to choose to stay home, can they be forced to go to school? Yes, that’s an extreme, but isn’t it the same idea?
What are we teaching our kids if sharing is their choice? Are we to assume that they will eventually come to the conclusion that sharing is good? Or do we not care, because it’s their right to choose? Do they have the right to learn about empathy, compassion, kindness?
I struggle to train my kids, in the hopes that they’ll become something other than self-entitled people.
I want to teach them…
There’s more to that list, but I hope everyone understands my point. If I’m to teach them these important values, feeding into their selfish natures won’t help. Don’t get me wrong. It is hard work, and one that goes relatively unnoticed most of the time (except for maybe Mother’s day). Usually, it involves arguing and tears (on both sides). There are days and nights where I wonder if I’m doing them any good. Is it all pointless? They don’t seem to get it.
Until I’m given a surprise…
A lady at a restaurant approached me. “Is that your son?” she asked as she pointed to him.
That always makes me cringe. “Yes, it is.” I always assume the worse. What did he do now? He’s loud, he’s high energy, and he can get a little out of control.
“I just wanted to let you know what a considerate boy he is. He held open the door for me and my husband. Such a polite boy. You’re doing something right.”
She left me with my jaw nearly hitting the floor. Am I a terrible Mom for wondering if she was really talking about him? lol
Self doubt crept in a week or so later as I struggled with my daughter. She’s stubborn, really stubborn, too much like me. We’re going to have an interesting ride through her High School years. *sigh*
And then another shock…
“Excuse me. Is that your daughter? The one in the neon shirt?”
Crude. “Um, yeah. She’s mine.” I imagined she’d thrown Lego blocks at the kids, or wasn’t sharing or something.
“I wanted to tell you she’s been so kind to every kid that’s come through here to play. Even my son, who’s just started learning to walk, she’s been helping him with the building blocks. She really is very sweet.”
Okay, so I’m not saying this to brag. I will admit that these little moments are exactly what I need to hear, to know that what I’m doing or saying isn’t falling on deaf ears. They are listening to me, or even watching me. *cringe* I need to work harder to be on my best behavior.
I worry for my children, as well as for my nieces and nephews. I hope for success in their lives as they grow into adults. But more than that, I hope and pray for these future adults to become amazing people who will be able to help our wounded world, rather than demanding their share of it.