aka The Frazzled Mom
For many girls it starts early. The desire to be perfect. The need for approval. The longing for acceptance and being liked by a lot of people.
Thanks to social media, these desires now get channeled online. Girls can curate an image, build a following, and test-drive identities until they find one that draws attention and applause.
But in this quest to be liked and noticed, girls often fail to feel loved and known. The result is a generation of girls who hunger for real and authentic relationships – yet are unclear on how to create them.
From popular blogger and bestselling author Kari Kampakis comes a powerful book for girls in the digital age. Designed to empower teens and tweens through the Christian faith, it’s packed with godly wisdom and practical advice related to identity, friendships, social media, and a relationship with God.
Topics covered include:
For anyone exhausted by the quest to impress – and ready to rest in God’s unconditional love – Liked is the answer. Written succinctly with thought-provoking questions, it’s an ideal resource for a small group or youth group study, and a conversation-starter that will quickly unite mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends by speaking to the female heart.
A great book for teenage girls to young adults in their 20s. Even older! Though its tailored to speak to young women, I think it would be an enjoyable read for any woman involved in social media and highly affected by the need to please. There’s a lot of good advice for girls in today’s world and especially in regards to how social media affects our lives. Wise words to live by, it would be great if every girl took the advice to heart. It would save each of them a lot of heartache, and create a positive, encouraging environment where they can support one another. In such a negative world, we don’t need more of “who wore it better”, but rather, “you look great”.
The following areas are covered in the book. Here’s a quick overview and some of the advice offered. Keep in mind this barely touches the surface of what Liked as to offer. Kari Kampakis does a great job making this book relevant.
Identity-The pressure to dress and impress. Who do you want to be? Are you willing to let others determine your identity as an individual? Rise above the world’s idea of “female perfection”.
Proverbs 29:25 “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Putting our trust in the online world is precarious.
Don’t judge a book by its cover? It’s an old saying, but still true today as ever. First impressions hold a lot of weight in this world, but they aren’t everything. Still, it’s difficult to keep that in mind when we are judged by those that don’t even know us. The author covers the struggles of wanting to impress, but at the same time hold true to ourselves.
Confidence-Faceless/nameless comments of hurtful words. The author encourages-Don’t let that hold any power over us. We’re God’s creation. He loves us with an everlasting love and, no matter how many “likes” or lack of followers, he’ll still love us. Basing our confidence on what the world says about us only sets us up for heartache. Negative opinions from strangers hurt, but these same people don’t decide our fate, or the fate of our soul. They can’t change our worth.
Kindness-Loneliness, rejection, these are common emotions for all of us. Even online, with thousands of followers, we may feel that way. You’re not alone! We all feel that way from time to time. How can this change? Be a blessing to others. Like the saying it’s better to give than receive, when you focus on those around you, on encouraging, comforting, it feeds you as well as the other person. It lifts their spirit, which in turn will lift yours.
John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
Pay it forward!
Character-Who do you want to be? Some have success critiquing others, or making fun of others. But how long does that last? And when they run out of material, or when their critiques get tiresome, will their followers remain? Our goal: be encouragers. Fill the comments, blog, whatever online with positive comments. With so much negative in this world, be a game changer. Choose to lift people up, not tear them down.
Proverbs 12:18 “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
I love that verse for the imagery alone. It makes it very clear the damage words without thought might do compared with words carefully chosen.
Commitment-Find out who our real friends are! I have a total of 3? Maybe 4 really close friends.
Job 2:11 “When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.”
I’m so glad the author included Job. He went through a lot, lost a lot. And during all of his trials and struggles, he had three friends who came to comfort him. Three! While some push to have as many online friends as possible, are they really, truly “friends”? I’d compared that in the past, noticing someone else had 400+ friends and I had maybe 40 on Facebook. Does that mean I’m not worth much? No. And it doesn’t mean that for anyone else. What’s the difference then? I tend to cautiously and carefully add people to my list. I don’t add with the intent of bumping my numbers. I want meaningful interacts. But when those interactions begin to drag me down, what then? Am I constantly checking Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, or whenever? Does the green-eyed monster inside me flare up as I see other friends having fun without me? Ultimately, does social media have power over me? It’s meant to add, not replace. If it begins to pull me down, I need to step away, take a break and get perspective. This isn’t easy for anyone and would be even more difficult for a girl in High school that relies on social media heavily. But it might be just the thing to release her from the depression brought on by these online sites.
Connection-Relationships grow with face to face, online can’t replace that as much as we may want it to. When someone is in the hospital or sick at home and in need of encouragement and comfort, a simple text might not do the job. People need that human interaction, the holding of a hand or hearing a friend’s voice.
Luke 6:31 “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”
Empathy is learned. I feel like a broken record sometimes, but I’m always asking my kids to think about how the other person feels. How would they react, or what would they think if they were in that situation? The author points out something I’ve seen too often-families out to dinner and everyone is on a phone or tablet. No interaction. No conversation. Just zoning out. And while that’s fine from time to time, I mean I need a break sometimes! Still, the experience, the human contact means so much more in person! Would you want to be ignored by your friend while you were out and she gave priority to her phone or online page?
Wisdom-Rejection is real and harsh. How should we react when someone puts us down, or doesn’t include us? My anger will flare up and, if I let it control my actions, I’ll do or say something stupid. It’s a given, a guarantee. If I wait, if I give it time, I’ll cool down and have a more level head to either chose to respond or ignore.
Proverbs 29:11 “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.”
How will you react? Be slow to anger, be wise. Pray and give it a day.
Humility-God calls us to a life of service, not fame and fortune. If we love God, we need to be sure we are not using God. He isn’t a genie to grant wishes, but He is there to help us.
But when our egos get in the way, our pride, especially when followers increase, likes are gained, positive comments start pouring in, we need to tread very carefully.
Courage-We can be world changers. Don’t let the world change us. It seems on a daily basis, society is pushing us to change, to adapt and to compromise our beliefs. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can love without compromise. We can be kind without sacrificing our beliefs. Who is shaping us?
Direction-Am I pleasing God? Do I like what I’m becoming? The author used the quote “A clear conscience is the softest pillow”. If we go by the rules of the world, we do what we please. We don’t return the extra cash the bank teller gave us accidentally. We excitedly hoard the extra products that were placed in our shopping bag as we leave the store. A wallet on the ground with $200? Score! The latest iPhone left on the counter at Starbucks? Let’s pop on YouTube and find out how to hack into it and make it our own.
Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”
All of the worldly actions may give us instant gratification, but some may leave us feeling unease, now or later. What we chose to do about it is up to us.
Obviously there’s a lot to this book. I highly recommend this book. It would make a great supplement for a teenager/early college Bible study. I received a free copy through Book Bloggers in exchange for an honest review.
Now for the fun part. With permission from the author, I will be giving away my well loved copy of Liked with a special note inside to the lucky winner. You’ve got nothing to lose by entering. Click on the book to enter.