aka The Frazzled Mom
I suppose I’m a little late on seeing this movie…to the point that there’s no real purpose to “reviewing” other than to use it as an opportunity to vent. So here I am…venting. Before I begin, let me start by saying I liked Captain Salazar. Ok, now on to the venting…
The one and only reason I’ve stuck to the Disney Pirates movies has been for one character: Captain Hector Barbossa. If you don’t understand why, or think Jack Sparrow is a better character, let me explain why I wholeheartedly disagree. During the course of these five films, we’ve seen a change in character, as in actual growth. Unlike Jack, who remains the same, even in this last film, Barbossa changes. From the typical pirate ride at Disneyland, Barbossa was introduced as the familiar “bloomn’ cockroaches” yelling pirate.
In Dead Men Tell No Tales, I knew it was going to happen. From the moment I’d read rumors about the possibility of a daughter, I knew his time was close to an end. And, in true Armageddon fashion (see the movie), Barbossa needlessly sacrifices himself for his daughter. Why? Because Heaven forbid that Jack Sparrow do anything…anything at all, even though this was his problem to solve. *sigh* I’m so tired of that character. No offense to Depp, but I really don’t like Sparrow. I mean, sure, he was entertaining in the first movie, but honestly, I think it’s the characters around him that make him entertaining. Like when he pulls off a stupid stunt that should have killed him and we see Barbossa dramatically roll his eyes. We are right there with him. I’d thought it was the banter between Sparrow and Barbossa that kept me in the franchise. But seeing this last film made me realize, it was solely Barbossa. Like nostalgia, he was a link to my childhood and one of my favorite rides: the Pirates of the Caribbean. Captain Barbossa’s death killed that connection.
Knowing it was coming, and then seeing it happen on screen…like a punctured lung the air was sucked out of me…like the wind knocked out of my sails (heh, see what I did there?). Perhaps that’s why I’m annoyed with the movie. I was done with it before it ended. I didn’t care about Sparrow. I didn’t care about what’s-his-face. I didn’t care about Turner. I’m finished with the franchise. Will there be another film? I don’t care. Sorry, but even Bill Nighy’s Davy Jones won’t pull me back in (that’s saying alot ’cause I like Nighy).
And before anyone says it, no, they can’t bring him back. That would be lame. It was different after the first film. What does sacrifice mean if one can just live through it? It’s not sacrifice at all.
I’m sure by this point, if my friend is reading this post, she’s giggling with glee…just as she does when she teases me about Captain Hook. 😛
Final thought: to see another movie where it’s primarily Jack Sparrow? I’d rather been keelhauled.
lol, okay…I’m being a bit dramatic, but that’s what the Internet is for, right??