The Consulting Writer

aka The Frazzled Mom

M is for Movies I Know Nothing About

My husband has officially revoked my license to pick movies based on the “gems” I’ve obtained. Unfortunately, for him, I don’t abide but such rules or restrictions. To quote him, “I follow no man.” With that said, here are five reasons why he doesn’t want me to place DVDs on hold at our local library.

Werewolves of the Third Reich

Truth be told, I already knew going in that this was going to be a cheesy movie. It doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure that out from the title alone. But still, it could be awful B movie fun, right?

…….

Nope. Sorry to say, for those that were involved in this production, but the movie felt like it was done on a college campus as a group project for class. The instructor might have given them high marks for special effects. That’s it. For a while there, I was wondering why the title was even plural. I believe you said there’d be werewolves?

The Snowman

When I see a big name, like Michael Fassbender, though I’m not really a fan of his, I recognize he’s been in some fairly big films. I mean…Alien: Covenant is big right? Pfft, don’t get me started on that movie. Maybe Fassbender should have played Data and Lore in ST: TNG. Oh wait, he did….in Alien: Covenant. He chose to be called David and Walter. *siiiiiiiiiiigh* I’m not saying his acting was bad. More like the writing was lame.

I digress…

After watching the gem that is Werewolves of the Third Reich, I began to question my own judgment in movies. So I decided to look up the reviews. Let me offer some advice. Don’t look up reviews. Just don’t. If you’re curious, watch the movie. Ignore the haters. Why? Because after reading multiple (and rather amusing) reviews on The Snowman, I began to dread watching it.

But we did. And honestly, it wasn’t as bad as most seemed to make it out. Sure, things were changed from the book, down to how they pronounced the character’s name. Fassbender looking mildly annoyed throughout the movie? I think his character was having some internal conflicts. And the snowman? Ok, the first one looked like “meh”. I mean, literally. His face was 😐 but the rest of the movie was not meh and neither were the murdered victims.

So I was sort of redeemed by this movie.

I did fall asleep towards the end a little when the murderer as fighting with Fassbender’s character. Don’t let that be a judge on the quality of the film. Honestly, I’ve fallen asleep through Blade 2, The Watchmen, Attack of the Clones (or was it Revenge of the Sith?), The Gunslinger…and on and on.

Just don’t go into this movie thinking it’s some supernatural horror type movie. It’s just a straight murder mystery.

 

Bullet Head

John Malkovich always gets my attention. With him and Antonio Banderas? Let’s watch it! Oh, yeah, Adrian Brody was in it as well. Again, I thought with the star power and the idea of an evil dog would have made for an exciting movie. But this isn’t a horror movie. Ultimately, for a dog lover, it’s kind of sad.

So I was again redeemed, a little, by this movie choice! Until…

Singularity

Who made this movie? Go to your room and think about what you’ve done.

John Cusack is in this movie. I was bamboozled as I discovered his scenes were done after the main filming of the movie. Why does that make a difference? You can feel it in each scene cut and paste in, like an afterthought. There were sooooo many plot holes in this movie that after a while we just didn’t care about the end. Oh, we watched it all, like struggling through the last mile of a marathon where your body says “Quit!” but your brain pushes you on to the finish line. Except, in this case, there was no reward. Rather, just the unspoken plea to never make a sequel despite it being set up for one.

And thus, thanks to the Werewolves and robots of Singularity, my movie picking privileges have been revoked. Pffft. We still have more!

-Revolt (aliens!)

-The Commuter (Liam Neeson!)

-The Beyond (robots, wormholes, and the void, oh my!)

-Battalion (uh…more aliens?)

11 comments on “M is for Movies I Know Nothing About

  1. Iain Kelly
    April 14, 2018

    I thought The Snowman was okay too, though I haven’t read the book, I couldn’t quite understand the overly critical reviews.
    https://iainkellywriting.com/2018/04/14/m-is-for-metlika-on-the-slovenian-croatian-border/

    Liked by 1 person

  2. scr4pl80
    April 14, 2018

    You are not alone. I know nothing about those movies either 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Heather Erickson
    April 14, 2018

    John Malkovich gets my attention, too. He is immensely talented. But then I saw the movie, “Being John Malkovich” and got a little freaked out by him.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. ichabod2014ic
    April 14, 2018

    We like mysteries. Do you recommend ‘Snowman’ as a good mystery?

    i like the sound of your upcoming choices!

    Happy Movie Night!
    ~Icky. 🙂

    Like

    • Elizabeth Los
      April 15, 2018

      I wouldn’t say it was a favorite mystery of mine, but it was ok. It might be a bit gruesome for some as the killer removes the heads of the victims and either puts the head on a snowman or a snowman head on the body.

      Liked by 1 person

      • ichabod2014ic
        April 15, 2018

        Ee-yulk. No thanks. We like the vast treasure trove of mystery movies made from 1929-1939. Good mysteries are mostly a thing of the past, though an unusual and notable exception is the tv show ‘Scream Queens’ Season 1.

        Like

        • Elizabeth Los
          April 15, 2018

          Same for me. What makes a good mystery isn’t the gore shown or implied, but Hollywood doesn’t seem to agree. My favorite mysteries are those with Sherlock Holmes or Nick and Nora Charles.

          Liked by 1 person

          • ichabod2014ic
            April 15, 2018

            Nick Charles is played by William Powell. He made several films dating 1928-1930 as ‘Philo Vance’. These are of a surprisingly high production value and are wonderful mystery stories. Basel Rathbone played Philo Vance for a rival studio. Herbert Marshall in ‘Trouble in Paradise’ is a great film. Another is ‘Night Must Fall’ starring Robert Montgomery {Elizabeth Montgomery of ‘Bewitched’ father} alongside Rosalind Russell and Dame Mae Whitty.

            Like

  5. Simply Infatuated
    April 14, 2018

    I don’t know these movies either, but your reasoning for choosing them seems solid. John Malkovich? I would choose it too. Thanks for helping us dodge those bullets!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. zannie
    April 15, 2018

    He sounds like a long suffering husband..my mother once asked me to pick a book for her from the library…I picked a real doozey but did not realise until I read it after her..she never asked me again.
    A-Z visitor

    Liked by 1 person

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